My name is Rania El Mousa and I am 24 years old. I lived in Edleb in Syria. One time when I was in my 7th month of pregnancy, a women came to me to take her blood, while usually we are the ones who go up to the rooms. So this is what I did. I went up to get the blood samples, and on my way the airplane bombed the clinic. I felt that my stomach got solid. When I went to the doctor, he gave me only one more week of work because I couldn’t feel my daughter. My husband wanted me to stop, but since he was not working (because he is color blind), I didn’t want to stop. Also because nurses there were a minority. This is one of the reasons that I didn’t want to stop working. Another reason is that I felt that the people and the patients needed us.
I had my daughter with me while traveling and I was very afraid because the road was very hard. I was afraid because we jumped over a fence and we fell into a ditch. A man threw her from the fence down to me. I was very afraid of her. I was holding her all the time while walking. I couldn’t trust anybody. I wouldn’t give her to anybody but my husband , but since it was too dark and my husband cant see well , I carried her mostly all the time. My hands kept on hurting me for 2 weeks.
At the beginning (for our trip from Turkey to Greece), the smugglers gave us life jackets, also for my daughter. When we took them, I started imagining my daughter like this kid on the news if you’ve have seen him. I got very scared. When we got on the boat the traffickers started telling us to be quiet and to wear our safe jackets, so this frightened my daughter very much. I didn’t want to wear the jacket. I just wanted my daughter to wear the jacket so that I am certain that if something happend to us my daughter wouldn't drown. There was no one to help me because everyone wanted to take care of themselves. The traffickers only wanted to prepare the others and throw them into the sea so they would leave. After
preparing her very well, I hugged her and started crying. It was a very strange situation. I was holding her and it was like she was also feeling that something was wrong. When my husband held her, she cried a lot until I took her again into my arms. The life jacket fell off from her; I got scared a lot, but thank God nothing happened to us. Although we arrived safely, I kept on having this feeling of fear for one week. I
also would see in my dreams that I lost my daughter (dead or drowning). These dreams kept on coming, so I was very afraid for some time.